Fresh air

Friday, March 18th, 2016
  • Windows

    I often pass this building in the Melbourne city suburb of Collingwood, and I can’t help but wonder what the story is behind these ‘windows’ that have been torn into the side of the structure. Maybe they serve a practical purpose, but they look to me like perhaps they’re the work of some frustrated tradesman who was probably sweltering behind the metal facade on one of Melbourne’s ferociously hot summer days.

    I picture an electrician (for some reason?) just losing his cool and stabbing some sharp implement into the corrugated siding in a heat-induced red-mist rage.

    “I told them it was too f**king hot to work here, but would they listen to me, NO! Of course, they didn’t listen, they’re in their nice air-conditioned site office. ‘Terry it’s just a short job mate, you’ll be right.’ But am I right? Am I?! F**k no I’m not all-f**king-right am I!!”

    Shoppers walking into Dimmeys bargain store below stop and lookup. The muffled sounds of Terry the overheated electrician shouting in a broad Australian accent can be heard above the sounds of passing traffic. The shrill noise of him bashing and tearing at the metal exterior wall is causing something of a spectacle. As he emerges, pushing back the metal that now looks like a shutter, he sees people on the street looking at him. He’s flush and sweating heavily, he pauses and shouts at the top of his voice, “Don’t mind me, I’m just opening the f**king windows.”

    A little later that same hot Melbourne summer’s day, Terry was released to explore employment opportunities elsewhere.

    See ‘Terry’s windows’ using Google Street View.