Ugly as sin

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  • Jesus Bike
  • Someone stole my bike today! It was locked to a pole in the city for a couple of hours, and in that time some fucker stole it! That ruined my day really. I was excited about going on the projector bike ride in the evening, a ride where loads of cyclists follow a bicycle that projects short films onto random walls. However, when I accepted that the bike had been stolen I was about as much fun as a thundery cold day.

    I snapped todays picture shortly after I became newly bikeless. Something about a bike and the words blood and sin resonated with me, probably because I wanted to spill the blood of the sinner who had taken my trusty steed!

    The thing is, this ‘Jesus bike’ is not a singular anomaly. There are several locked up on bike hoops across the city. They’re ugly, and they’re an inconsiderate use of valuable bike hoops in busy places. Maybe I’m just noticing them more, but it seems to me like they’re multiplying.

    City cyclists hate these ‘Jesus bikes’ and I’ve heard many people comment about how ugly and inconsiderate they are and how the local council should clean them up as trash. There’s even a twitter account about how inconsiderate they are. That twitter account suggests that whoever is responsible for the bikes should “preach in a more respectful medium (e.g. on the underside of a rock or in space where sound can’t travel).”

    Maybe I am a cynic, but I imagine the person who places these bikes around the city is a socially awkward loner who loves the Lord because the Lord is the only person who loves him. But maybe I am wrong?

    In the end I did go on the projector bike ride. My friends Madeleine and Phong persuaded me to join them, and I want to say a public thanks to them because Madeleine paid for a city bike rental for me, then after the ride Phong lent me his bike so I still have wheels to get around. I have great friends and I’m thankful for that.

    As for my stolen bike, I’ll be looking at every bike rack and cyclists hoping to find it. If I find the sinner who took it, blood may indeed cleanse them.

  • 8 comments on “Ugly as sin

    1. Aw that sucks about your bike! Glad you still got to go on your ride though – the projection thing seems really cool! I was never that interested in visiting Australia, honestly, but now that I’ve been reading about your adventures there I’m definitely more interested!

      • It’s fair to say I was really angry and upset. But Madeleine and Phong helped get me to a somewhat better place. I rode home on Phongs bike via the Yarra bike trail along the river at night. I needed some space to just accept it was gone. It was such a nice bike though. I’ve never owned a bike like that. 🙁

    2. Simon! Fuck!! I’m sorry mate! Thats shit! I am glad your mates stepped up tho bro. Loving this blog tho love. Keep going! x

      • Thanks Rimester. My mates are bloody good really. Anyway, onward we go. There is after all, no going back!

        Hope to see you at Everyday Coffee sometime. I’m going there afternoon actually 🙂

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